To Friend or Not to Friend?

An always-hot topic among English teachers in Korea—at universities and elsewhere—is whether or not to “friend” students on Facebook. To what extent is it prudent to open our lives to students? Personally, I’m a huge fan of friending students on social networks; while I agree it’s not for everyone, it certainly can be rewarding if done responsibly. Putting aside for a moment the practical classroom uses for Facebook and social media, there are many reasons why I choose to friend students on Facebook.

1. There’s often a close relationship between students and teachers in Korea.

I can’t vouch for the relationship between teachers and students today, in the age of social networking, in the U.S.; but when I started teaching at a boys’ high school in Jeju, I was surprised by how close the teachers and students were. It was a bit different from my own school days. For instance, homeroom teachers in Korea often function as substitute parents, offering advice, college and career counseling, comfort, discipline, and even bus fare when needed. In Jeju, and probably in other places, they visit their students’ homes to talk with the families and get a feel for each student’s living situation. The students, meanwhile, often know quite a bit about their teachers’ lives, especially in smaller cities, where they inevitably see each other on the street and in public places. Several teachers at my school invited their homeroom students to their weddings, and a few even asked students to participate in the ceremony.

The high school students I taught in Jeju were openly curious about my life; and while my current university students are generally less so, they do seem very interested when I share personal information, and they ask a lot of questions in one-on-one situations. I don’t mind answering.

1a. The Cyworld precedent

Students in Korea have a history of “friending” their teachers on Cyworld, a Korean social networking site that allows users to create “mini-home pages” full of photos, videos, music, and more.

During my second year in Korea, I was excited to create a Cyworld page; it seemed a great way to connect with students. As soon as I had successfully negotiated the many levels of registration and verification, I immediately began setting up my page. For the next several years, I diligently updated my Cyworld diary and uploaded photos of every school function, and even reticent students who never talked in class would often stop by and leave a brief message—sometimes just “Hi” or “ㅋㅋㅋㅋ” (Korean shorthand for a laughing noise). I would reply with an English message for them to read. In two years, my page had over 17,000 visits, most of which were current and former students. Facebook seems a natural extension—though it must be handled with greater caution due to its increased interconnectivity.

1b. The administration approves.

Many of the Korean professors at my university are friends with their students on Facebook. In fact, even the president of my university is on Facebook; we’re currently friends, and at last count we had 95 friends in common, the majority of whom are students at our uni.

2. It gives students access to authentic language and culture.

I first started using Cyworld to motivate my high school students to use English; I use Facebook now partly to motivate my university students to expand their English skills. I’m not sure they completely understand the memes, cultural references, and status updates I share; but many “like” them, so I believe they understand at least the gist. A few students seem to be intensively reading; they ask for clarifications of expressions or ideas, taking full advantage of the authentic input. It’s an excellent resource for them, and it makes me accessible as a resource, as well. I also believe that comprehending an English joke, such as this Foxtrot cartoon I recently posted that was “liked” by multiple students, can exponentially increase a student’s confidence—and fan their desire to seek out more of the same.

Facebook is also a platform from which we can discreetly encourage students to think outside the box and dream big. If students can read about the life experiences of someone from a different culture, they can begin to get new ideas and new perspectives on what’s possible. Sometimes people fail to dream big just because they have no idea what options exist; Facebook and the internet are great ways to introduce students to a wide world of possibilities and teach them to look out for opportunities.

3. My own personal benefit

I’m always interested in my students’ lives, and reading their Facebook status updates is fascinating and revealing—and excellent Korean-language practice. Students post about their hobbies, travels, daily lives, and military service; in doing so, they reveal tiny glimpses into their lives, personalities, and hidden talents.

Current students, meanwhile, might post about an injury, illness, or family issue that could impact their class performance and deserves some leeway, though they might forget to tell me about it directly. In contrast, I’m less forgiving when I know they’re sleeping in class because they were out drinking the night before.

I especially like using Facebook to keep in touch with former students. I love reading about their lives and loves, and they often comment on or “like” my status updates. Facebook also makes it easy to meet up with students for coffee or concerts; a favorite pastime of mine.

How to do it

It’s important to be a good role model in school and out, in real life and virtual; anywhere your students might encounter you.

When posting online, I never post anything inappropriate. I know I can rely on my friends not to post anything inappropriate on my Wall, either. That’s why we’re friends. I rarely post about politics, and I never touch on religion. If I need to vent about something, I set the privacy settings accordingly; and even then, I keep it relatively mild, just in case. Finally, I generally don’t send “friend” requests to my students; I’d rather have the students initiate it, so I’m confident they feel no pressure.

If you want to be Facebook friends with your students, I have three strong recommendations: 1) make a friends-list just for your students; 2) set your privacy settings to block this list when appropriate; 3) be responsible, be professional, and use common sense. Facebook can increase students’ regard for you, or you can lose their respect entirely. Post accordingly.

A virtual high-five

Facebook is an opportunity for students to use English for real communication and to access authentic language, new perspectives, and cultural input. Friending students, I think, also makes a teacher seem more accessible—as a resource, as a friend, as a person—and thus has the potential to bring students and teachers closer together.

For me, Facebook also represents something even more important: a kind of recognition of each student’s individuality and worth. Interaction on Facebook, to me, is the online equivalent of a high-five: a brief check-in, an instant of contact, a moment of mutual recognition and reassurance—yes, I know you, I like you, you matter to me. I doubt my students feel the same, but I’m happy to show in this small way that I’m there for them, and I’m delighted that Facebook and Cyworld are there to help me create relationships that endure long after the class ends.